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Job Etiquette Is Key; You Can Shake On It:

That name tag? It goes on the right so that when people shake hands (firmly, but not as if it’s a contest), they can read one another’s names more easily.

The handshake? Crucial. Grasp the hand firmly, hand turned on its side, thumb up.

And maintain eye contact. Don’t look at the nose, the bust or the shoes. Imagine a triangle drawn from the forehead to include the eyes and stay focused there.

This is your first impression, class, and it is within these few moments that a job can be won or lost.

Who knew saying hello to a stranger could be so complicated?

Karen A. Wolf is walking around Manchester High School’s Career Center, shaking hands with the two classes assembled to listen to her talk about business etiquette.

“A little more,” she says to one boy as he stands to reach for her hand. “A little more,” she says to another. “Not so hard!” she says to a third. “Remember I have small, girl hands.”

Shaking hands - and entering a room, knowing how to introduce people and saying please and thank you - are skills that are often overlooked, says Wolf, owner of Manchester’s New England School of Protocol. For that she blames, in part, the boomers.

“My theory is that my generation is at fault,” Wolf said. “It was the ’60s, and we were doing women’s lib and fighting Vietnam - for and against. We were changing the whole society, and we let some things slide.”

When boomer parents didn’t emphasize etiquette with their children, their children have grown up and let the lessons slide even more. When Wolf asked how many boys were taught to shake hands when they were little, two young men in a class of 25 or so raised their hands. When she asked how many girls were taught to shake hands, no one responded.

But shaking hands is an important skill, whatever the gender. So is holding doors, says Wolf. No matter the gender, whoever gets to the door first should hold it open for others.

Besides her classes with young people, Wolf offers courses to people already in the business world. And lest you think etiquette is all white gloves and picky manners, Wolf trained at the Protocol School of Washington, which was founded by Dorothea Johnson, whose granddaughter is Liv Tyler, actress and daughter of Steve Tyler of Aerosmith fame. In fact, one of Johnson’s books is dedicated to Liv, whom she acknowledges as one of the world’s best shakers of hands, Wolf said. Mannerly doesn’t mean judgmental.

Wolf said her interest in business etiquette was forged after 40 years in the corporate world, during which she said she saw a decline of good manners. “I began to see more and more, as young people came into the work force, a misunderstanding of what you are supposed to do, how are you supposed to behave,” Wolf said. “There were guys wearing baseball caps in the office.”

If her interest in business etiquette came after years of watching a lackadaisical approach to civil niceties, her knowledge of manners was inborn. The daughter of a minister, Wolf grew up in a house heavy on dinner guests.

“I grew up knowing how to behave,” said Wolf. “We had cloth napkins and napkin rings at every meal.”

She said manners and table etiquette came easily, with poems like: “Like the ships that sail to sea, I push my spoon away from me.” And now, all grown up, Wolf is trying to teach employees and would-be employees that good manners make sense for a corporation. People who act with civility are well-thought of in the work world, and therefore so are their firms. Besides visits to high school, Wolf offers courses in business etiquette for those already in the work force (including dining, taking meetings, and serving as a business host), and for those who are traveling to other countries. Both courses emphasize how to negotiate mingling and small talk, neither of which are popular among even the most experienced business person.

“I try to tell them when they walk into a room that 75 percent of the people in there don’t know one another,” Wolf said. “And 40 percent of those people truly hate it.”

At Manchester High, some of the students are already working - at pharmacies, hospitals, local markets and day-care centers. They laugh when Wolf tells them touching other people is not appropriate in a corporate environment.

“Here to here,” she says, touching her arm at the wrist and elbow. “You can touch people here to there.”

At the end of the hourlong session, Wolf asks for questions or comments. Something must have clicked. From the back, a young man calls out, “Well done!”