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You do have to prove yourself to get ahead

I was leaving the set of a television station news show where I had given my 3½-minute opinion when a young worker trotted up and whispered, “Can I ask you a question?”

She steered me down a hallway, looked coyly to her right and left, then in a low voice, asked, “How do I get them to give me a promotion?”

I’m used to this. Wherever I go, everyone has a career stumper they think I can diagnose and then prescribe a solution. I just wasn’t used to the reaction I got from this 25-year-old after giving her my point of view.

She couldn’t understand why management wouldn’t let her be an anchor - her dream job - after two years of working there. They kept telling her, “You have to prove yourself.” She kept insisting, “I know I can do the job.”

“Everyone has to prove themselves. Why would you be any different?” I asked her.

She stood speechless for 15 seconds, her brain registering what I had said, looking as if she had just learned the meaning of life. Surely, I was not the first to tell her this.

“Wow, I hadn’t thought of that,” she replied thoughtfully, grabbing my hand to shake, truly thankful for the insight and fortitude to do whatever she needed to prove herself.

Her reaction shocked me. Most of the time when a Millennial or Gen Xer - basically, someone in their 20s or 30s - asks for my baby boomer-based career advice, they blow me off. In so many words and by attitude, they let me know that they are entitled to have what they want and that I am preaching down an empty canyon.

This attitude “absolutely drives managers (among others) crazy,” says Bill Wiersma, author of “The Big AHA.”

These me-first, self-absorbed workers want “to maximize pleasure and minimize pain,” he says, with their own needs taking precedence over the needs of their workplace.

It’s an attitude that’s “been inbred in younger workers through new and dangerous societal norms, (and brought) with them into the workplace where they don’t work,” says Wiersma.

For example, when a “me-first” employee is required to go the extra mile to satisfy a customer, he’ll make up an excuse. Or she’ll be unwilling to hear constructive criticism, he says.

The result is a worker with an exaggerated sense of self-importance, with a quest for immediate gratification and a desensitization to the needs of others.

These generations of workers who experienced either first- or secondhand the no-holds-barred ’90s “were indoctrinated with the false impression that as long as you could fog the mirror, you were entitled to equity, stock options and overnight fame and fortune,” says John Putzier, author of “Weirdos in the Workplace!”

With the burst of the dot.com bubble, 9/11 and corporate scandals, “their great expectations were shattered,” he says, “but not their belief that they are entitled to them.”

People like Wiersma tell companies that the solution is to hire for attitude and train for skill later. Look for someone who realizes he is part of something bigger than himself, resists the urge for immediate self-gratification, has a bias for results, exudes positive energy, is respectful of others, is accountable and wants to grow professionally - even if it hurts.

If you’re a young worker, you may find a company willing to change its culture to accommodate you. But odds are high that most employers want workers who want to be part of something bigger than themselves and are willing to work toward their goals the old-fashioned way.

And in the long run, that can be a lot more satisfying for you as well.