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Networking occurs in unexpected places

Networking doesn’t always have to seem fake and forced; friendly conversation can do the trick, too.

Back in November, Mike Campbell did what so many people do these days: He went on a date with someone he met through Match.com.

What came out of it wasn’t a romantic relationship. Instead, he found a job.

Campbell met his date at a sports bar. Unfortunately, his date wasn’t so crazy about sports, and the chemistry was lacking. But during the conversation, Campbell’s date, the chief executive of a nonprofit group, mentioned his organization was seeking a director of communications.

Lo and behold, Campbell’s background was in communications. And he was on a free-lance assignment that was about to end.

In the days after the date, Campbell built up his courage and sent a cover letter and résumé through the regular channels. Then, Campbell picked up the phone and called his ex-date. Though it might seem strange, he said in the message, he felt he was a good fit for the job.

Almost a month later, the CEO’s assistant called to schedule an interview. When Campbell showed up, the honcho whispered, ”I told them we met at a party,” then sat down with a few other managers and interviewed Campbell, later offering him the job.

Campbell didn’t realize it, but in following up after the lame date, he was networking.

Despite our crazy, technological world with so many job websites and easy ways to post our resumes online, the personal network still is the No. 1 way to get a new job, promotion or partner.

Yet most of us shudder at the sound of the word ”networking.” It seems so forced. So suck-uppy. So fake.

But networking is really just about socializing. The people you meet at the grocery store, in line at a concert, while stuffing envelopes at a volunteer event may be the people who move you along your career path.

”If you treat it like you’re just meeting a friend, it’s more social than having all the anxiety of the business slant to it,” said Melissa Fireman, founder of Washington Career Services, a career consulting firm. “We do it all the time.”

Indeed, we do. Fireman herself is where she is today because of a social setting.

She was at a conference a few years back, chatting with people who worked at New York University.

They invited her to skip out on a few sessions and join them at the pool. There, she met their boss, executive director for NYU’s career center. The boss and Fireman were in the pool when they started chatting about Fireman’s career history. Fireman told her how much she loved training.

The director later asked Fireman to do a training session at the career center. ”That’s what launched the business. We were in the pool together,” Fireman said.

So maybe hanging out is all it takes to find our career path.

If only it were that easy. Networking scares most of us because of that old fear-ofrejection thing.

Diane Darling, author of The Networking Survival Guide, is a self-proclaimed introvert. She admits to playing solitaire on her Palm during intermission at the Boston Symphony recently.

Which is why she feels it is her mission to teach people networking can be fun and easy — and that they are networking in essentially every conversation they have.

Some people think they have to sell themselves just to the higher-ups. That’s not always the case.

Start small, Darling says. She likes to talk to people in airports about their roller bags.

It gets a conversation going, and she never knows where it will end up.

People often find clients, work and contacts through things that have nothing to do with their jobs, she said.

”People who let themselves be something other than their profession,” she said, find they are networking without realizing it.