Employment Digest

Can Stay-at-Home Moms Return to Work?

There’s been a lot of mommy blog chatter lately about two high-profile books that belittle the 5.6 million stay-at-home moms in America for not working. Linda Hirshman’s Get to Work compared women who stay home with children to reckless drivers who ride motorcycles without protective helmets. Leslie Bennetts’ The Feminine Mistake offered a gentler critique, filled with stories of stay-at-home moms who inadvertently found themselves on the wrong end of divorce, financial bad luck or unfulfilling domestic lives.

After talking to hundreds of women following publication of my anthology Mommy Wars, I started to wonder about the conventional wisdom that moms, especially college educated professional women, have trouble returning to work after staying home to care for children. How could a few years off nullify decades of educational and professional accomplishments for so many bright, hard-working, driven women?

I talked with dozens of college-degreed mothers ages 30 to 55 who left professional work for 3 to 10 years to care for their children. I went to conferences for “on rampers” hosted by top business schools, and spoke to large groups of professional moms in New Hampshire, Minnesota, Illinois, California, Florida, Wisconsin, New York and Washington, DC. Hiring managers, headhunters, and placement specialists across the country offered their insights as well.

I was not able to find a single college-educated stay-at-home mother who couldn’t find fulltime work within twelve months. A survey by the Center for Work Life Policy in New York shows that 74% of stay-at-home moms who want to go back are able to. Most who don’t get jobs are looking for part-time of flexible jobs, which are notoriously difficult to find.

Certainly, obstacles exist. It takes time and determination to craft a marketable resume without glossing over significant gaps, to find the right childcare, to refresh critical skills, and to come to peace with reinventing oneself — yet again. Some on-rampers face an initial salary penalty. Staying in the same field and geographic area makes returning easier; as does coming back within 10 years. Critically, the majority of success stories involve a return to fulltime work. Although some companies, such as Minneapolis-based Best Buy Corporation, allow employees to work flexible schedules, there are still far more fulltime jobs.

Wharton, Harvard and Dartmouth and other business schools have started programs for high-powered stay-at-home moms. New companies like Moms Corps, Career Partners, Business Talent Group, McKinley Marketing and Flexperience Staffing are springing up to connect professionals with rewarding part-time positions and temporary projects, many of which provide excellent bridges back to fulltime work. Fortune 500 employers such as Lehman Brothers, Citigroup, UBS, Johnson & Johnson and Discovery Communications are targeting talented stay-at-home moms whose skills and educational credentials outweigh any perceived negative of time off. “Well-educated stay-at-home moms have experience, judgment and maturity that our companies need,” explains Anne Erni, managing director and chief diversity officer at 29,000-employee Lehman Brothers.

Good news abounds for today’s at-home mothers. So why the pervasive myths about moms’ inability to restart their careers?

One answer is that five or ten years ago, it was tougher for well-educated women to take time off without significant penalty. A second explanation may be Americans’ collective devaluation of stay-at-home moms who perform years of unpaid labor. We tend to applaud paid labor in this country.

However, part of the answer — and not a pretty part — may lie in the fact that working moms (and dads) hold the pens and the microphones, and therefore we control the messages. Stay-at-home moms are, by definition, not writing books, producing tv shows, or writing many newspaper articles; they’re home serving chicken fingers instead of anchoring the nightly news. With the exception of the pervasive, vocal, increasingly powerful mommy blogs, stay-at-home moms’ public voices are inadvertently, and unfairly, silenced by their decisions to stay home.

“Full-time homemakers [have] a highly combative sense of indignation about views that challenge their own,” wrote Leslie Bennetts, the author of The Feminine Mistake, in a recent HuffingtonPost.com article. I wonder whether the same is true of working mothers: maybe we want stay-at-home moms to suffer a penalty for taking time off. Moms at home are the devil on every working mother’s shoulders: the women who chose their children over their jobs. Their decisions make us feel guilty about our own. Psychologically, maybe working moms seek to justify the superiority of our own, often guilt-ridden, anxiety-driven choices to continue our careers uninterrupted by disparaging stay-at-home moms for their foolish “feminine mistakes.”

There are approximately 81 million moms in America today. Each of us juggles modern motherhood amidst social paradox and flux. Fifty years ago women struggled to force many law schools, business schools, and medical schools to admit women. The number of women with college degrees has doubled in 20 years, and women now make up 51% of the white-collar workforce. In the last 50 years, the percent of American women staying home dropped from 76% to 28%. In the middle of this societal chaos, none of us has the today’s work/kids paradigm figured out.

Beneath the surface of the “mommy war” between working and at-home mothers lies each woman’s inner mommy war, an endless mental debate over whether we’ve made the right choices about how we juggle work and family. Now that women’s advances at work and at home have increased our options, the challenge for each woman with a bona fide choice is to feel good about her decision - without condemning, or silencing, other women who make different ones.

At-home mothers across the country are proving that choosing stay-at-home motherhood does not spell the end of your career, especially if you got skills, a good education, are determined to return, and are willing to work fulltime. Not a fairytale ending - we won’t have that until there’s a cornucopia of flexible, well-paid, part-time work for men and women in all segments of the labor force - but far better news than moms have gotten in a long time.

The top 10 ways to bomb a job interview

You’ve made it through the graduation ceremony and survived all of the parties. Now it’s time to think about the next step: landing that first big job.

The Class of 2007 has excellent job prospects. Employers in every industry plan to hire 20 percent more new college graduates this year than in 2006, according to the National Association of Colleges and Employers.

Interviews are notorious for being the most nerve-wracking part of a job search. But career coaches and employment experts say keeping in mind a few tips can help. So, with apologies to David Letterman, here are some tips:

10. Twirl your pen in your fingers like a drummer. Answer your cell phone and repeatedly check your watch.

Your total focus needs to be on the interviewer. Show the energy and enthusiasm you will bring to the job.

9. Forget to send the interviewer a thank-you note.

Thank them for their time and write a letter within a few days. “At the end of the interview, look for some type of next step, such as another interview,” said Ken Sexton, branch manager of Spherion Staffing Services in Daytona Beach. “Let them know you appreciate their time and you want the job.”

8. Don’t ask any questions.

Asking questions shows interest in the job and the employer. “Research the company and know the skills that can benefit the company,” said Beverly Harvey, a DeLand-Based career coach.

7. Trash your current or former boss.

Keep your comments positive and upbeat.

6. Ask a lot of questions about workers compensation, and other benefits.

“I’ve had people ask ‘When is lunch?’ I feel like saying ‘All day because I’m not going to hire you,’ ” Sexton said.

5. Ask the interviewer who the hot teen-aged babe is in the photo on his desk.

Steer clear of anything personal or too familiar. The interviewer doesn’t have to know you really need this job because you have a mound of credit card debt. There’s no need to mention that little incident regarding your old fraternity.

4. Act arrogant. Start right off the bat by being rude to the receptionist.

Receptionists are the gatekeepers and it’s their job to be the eyes and ears of the company. Also watch your language. Four letter words won’t show you are tough. It says: I’m unprofessional and if it shows in the short span of an interview, imagine what I’ll be like in the office.

3. Throw up on the interviewer.

One manager said he had a job candidate throw up on him. Another had an interviewee laugh nervously and spit out a false tooth. One sure way to stave off nervousness is to practice mock interviewing with a friend, Sexton said.

2. Wear a tight skirt and a low-cut blouse, and constantly drop your pen.

No short skirts, no tight skirts and no cleavage. “I am amazed I have to tell women that cleavage is not appropriate for the office, said Barbara Pachter, a career coach. And, no flip flops or sandals; it’s not the beach.

And the number one way to blow a job interview.

1. Show up reeking like a pack of stale Lucky Strikes and Old Spice.

On the other hand, don’t take personal grooming to an extreme. “One candidate brushed her hair in the middle of the interview,” a hiring manager said.

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Resumes should focus on objective

One of the more difficult exercises job seekers go through is trying to determine an appropriate objective for a resume.

For some employers and jobs this opening statement is not extremely important, while for others it is crucial.

Many job-hunters use the same objective for every position. For some with a specific career focus this may be appropriate. For people without such a clear purpose, this is the wrong approach.

Here are some things to consider to avoid mistakes:

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10 Steps to Improve Your Chances of Getting a Job.

Many companies and organizations do a significant amount of hiring during the first few months of the year. But most people make the mistake of firing off their resumes without putting any real thought into the important, and sometimes daunting task of finding a new job.

In the competitive job market of today it’s essential to stay up to date by finding new ways of marketing yourself and your valuable skills. Current statistics show that the average job search can be anywhere from two to an astounding ten months long. Here are ten steps to help quickly improve your chances of landing that perfect job.

1. Plan for Success

For any venture to be successful, including the search for a new job, proper planning is the first essential step. If you already know what your goals are both short and long-term, then planning your job search should be relatively simple. You should then know where you see yourself in a year as well as where you’d like to be in five years.

2. Be Realistic

If you’re considering changing careers completely, then you may need to sit down and review your qualifications. Perhaps you’ll need to take a few courses to brush up on your current skills or enroll in a class to learn a few new ones.

3. Make a List and Check it Twice

Make a list of all of your recent achievements and figure out how to incorporate them into your resume or CV. Think of any special projects you may have been a part of or any other job-related success stories that you might have which can be summarized effectively in your resume and cover letters.

4. Toot Your Own Horn

Remember that employers want to know what you can do for them and how you’ll help to better their company. By providing what you’ve already done and not just what you intend on doing will help better your chances of beating out the competition.

5. Revamp that Resume/C.V

Now that you have a complete list of all of your achievements the next step is to add them to your resume in a way that will get you noticed. Keep in mind that the average recruiter or employer will spend under one minute glancing at your resume or CV, so it’s imperative that you make an impression quickly in order to land that interview. And it should go without saying that you must triple, even quadruple check spelling and grammar before sending anything to a prospective employer.

6. Scope out Your Prospects

Considering that we spend a large majority of our lives at work, it makes sense to find a job that you enjoy doing at a place you can be comfortable. By doing a little research to find the best companies that are suited to your needs, you’ll better your chances of finding the best work environment for you and your style.

7. Spread the Word

Social networking can be an excellent way of improving your chances of finding a job. Let everyone know you’re looking to make a career move and attend career fairs and trade shows as well.

8. Explore the Web

The internet is an extremely valuable resource when it comes to job hunting. Post your resume on the various job boards and stay in the know about what’s happening in your particular industry. Sign up to be notified via e-mail when jobs that interest you are posted.

9. Make Yourself Over, Not Just Your Resume

Dress to impress when you’re on interviews, and remember that this is one of those instances where less is more. By keeping make-up, jewelry and perfume or cologne to a minimum you’ll project a more professional image.

10. Take a Breather

Job hunting can be mentally exhausting so it’s easy to get burned out before you even get the new position. To make sure that doesn’t happen, allow your mind a break once in a while. Find ways to relax and participate in activities you enjoy. When you resume your search you’ll have a fresh outlook and a better perspective on things.

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When it comes time to interview for the job of your dreams, be enthusiastic, focused and confident.

But above all, prepare.

And although the interview could last an hour or longer, the first 10 to 15 minutes are vital, so it’s important to make a good impression quickly.

That’s the word from James Hughes, a senior manager of technical recruiting for global business software giant Business Objects.

“People make assumptions within 10 or 20 minutes, then the rest is evaluating and justifying those assumptions,” said Hughes. “The first few minutes are critical.” Hughes said it’s also important during a job interview to interact comfortably with the interviewer. “A lot comes down personal interaction, handshakes, introductions, perhaps some small talk to break the ice, comfortably setting forth full and succinct answers.

“Some people try to get into a full speech, but it should be more of an interaction instead of a presentation.” Red flags for employers, he said, include a lack of self awareness by the interviewee, preventing the interviewer from jumping in or offering a critique, and speaking negatively of their previous work environment. “That indicates a lack of discretion.

When you’re asked the reasons for leaving, I appreciate an honest answer. But you don’t have to dis (your former employer). You can say you disagreed with a management style.” Hughes said the job seeker should also be prepared and research the company. “They should know something about Business Objects. I always encourage people to do due diligence.

We also look for innovative team players, smart, willing learn and enthusiastic about life.” Hughes’ comments echo a recent survey developed by financial recruitment service company Robert Half Finance and Accounting, which found that while job interviews typically take an hour or longer, hiring managers often form opinions in the first 15 minutes.

The survey, which got responses from 100 senior Canadian executives, found managers take about 12 minutes on average form either a positive or negative opinion of a job candidate.

“The interview begins the moment job seekers arrive, so applicants need to project enthusiasm and confidence from the start,” Max Messmer, chairman and CEO of Robert Half International and author of Job Hunting For Dummies, said. “The opening minutes of the conversation often set the tone for the rest of the discussion, making it wise to prepare especially well for the first few interview questions.” The following five questions are frequently asked at the start an interview. How you respond is important: n Can you tell me a little about yourself? Concisely discuss your professional goals and interests as they relate to the job opportunity. Your answer should provide insight into why you are the right fit for the position and the company.

n What do you know about our firm? Research the business beforehand and be prepared to describe how your skill set and experience will help you contribute to its success.

n Why do you want to work here? Whether it’s the company’s values, history of success or reputation in the industry that attracted you, respond in a way that shows you understand the organization’s priorities and business objectives.

n Why are you looking to leave your current position? Keep your answer focused on the opportunity, for example, chance to advance your career. Remain positive and avoid disparaging other employers.

n What is your most significant professional accomplishment? Cite an achievement that demonstrates your abilities and shows you value results.

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To get into recruiter’s orbit, you must first become a blip

The scenario

I would really like to get on the radar screen of recruiters. What should I do to get noticed by and develop a relationship with headhunters who will really help my career?

The advice

Recruiters can play an important role in managing your career - whether you are beginning your first job search or seeking a change in position or company - through their well-developed client relationships and expertise in the job market. Their experience can be invaluable in helping answer questions regarding career choices and describing opportunities.

Many people only contact recruiters when they are unemployed or unhappy. However, it is important for everyone to keep in touch with their business and personal networks. Part of every individual’s business network should include recruiters who represent roles and companies that “fit” one’s experience and aspirations.

You can research information regarding recruiters through the Association of Executive Search Consultants (http://www.aesc.org), the International Association for Corporate and Professional Recruitment (http://www.iacpr.org), and the Directory of Canadian Recruiters (http://www.directoryofrecruiters.com), to name a few. Seek out information related to each recruiter’s expertise in industries, career specialties and position levels that are relevant to you.

Another important consideration is to understand the difference between retained recruiters (retained by corporations on an exclusive basis) and contingency recruiters (only paid for job placements), and decide what type of recruiter will work best for you. Often, this is determined by their level of placements within certain industries or their capacity and/or ability to handle search assignments in a city, a country or globally.

You will need a concise, factual and polished résumé (no more than three pages) and introductory letter that explains your career and your accomplishments. Most recruiters maintain a database that they search for each assignment; make sure your résumé is on that database.

In addition, you will need to know how to talk about your career and work experiences, both with the recruiter and the prospective employer. You may wish to seek the advice of a career management specialist to help you here.

Telephoning recruiters to ask for a general interview, either in person or over the phone, is often accommodated. This will also provide an opportunity to ask the recruiter questions about companies they represent. If you are not successful at obtaining an interview, ask business associates to recommend recruiters they know in order to use an introductory name to get the recruiter’s attention.

Once you have developed a relationship with a recruiter, keep in contact a few times a year to update your information and gain marketplace intelligence. Please, however, be gracious. For any favours asked, reciprocity should be considered. A note thanking a recruiter for his or her time is always well received. The foundation of all relationships is consideration, thoughtfulness and kindness. Remember this when you ask for help from any member of your network and your career journey will be successful.

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Career Guidance for This Century - Guy Kawasaki Blog

Penelope Trunk is the author of Brazen Careerist: The New Rules for Success. She is a career columnist at the Boston Globe and Yahoo Finance. Her syndicated column has run in more than 200 publications. Earlier, she was a software executive, and then she founded two companies. She has been through an IPO, an acquisition and a bankruptcy. Before that she played professional beach volleyball.

My two favorite answers in this interview are #7 and #10. If I had a nickel for every time I had to answer questions regarding getting an MBA and a first job out of college, I would own my own ice rink by now.

1. Question: How much money does it take to be happy?

   Answer: It takes about $40,000. It does not matter how many kids you have or what city you live in—that’s splitting hairs because peoples’ happiness levels are largely based on their level of optimism and the quality of their relationships. So as long as you have enough money for food and shelter, your optimism level kicks in to dictate how happy you are.

2. Question: Is it more important to be competent or likable?

   Answer: People would actually rather work with someone who is incompetent and likeable than competent and unlikable. Most people nod in agreement when they read this. It’s the unlikable people who form arguments in their head.

   But there’s more. At work, if you are unlikable, people start thinking you are less competent. So stop thinking you can skate by on your genius IQ because you can’t. You need emotional intelligence as well. This situation is so pronounced that there are special-education classrooms rife with kids who could read when they were three. Social skills matter as much as intelligence when it comes to long-term success, even for the geniuses.

3. Question: Should I sue a boss who is sexually harassing me?

   Answer: In most cases, you will destroy your career if you report sexual harassment. So unless you are in physical danger, you should not report harassment. The laws governing sexual harassment don’t protect women who report. The law protects companies from being sued by the women who report. Human resource professionals are trained to protect the company, not the woman who reports.

   When you report harassment it is usually the case that you lose your job through retaliation. Retaliation is illegal but nearly impossible to prove in court. And, even if you could prove it in court, you would go through emotional hell, with no salary, and high-profile drama that makes you unable to get another job. All this for a settlement that will almost certainly not enable you to retire.

   This is simply how the legal system works. I am not saying this is okay. But I’m saying that if you care about your career, you’ll do everything possible to not report. Most women are not in the position to sacrifice their career—and their earning power—in the name of trying to bring down one harasser. The legal system needs to step in and take care of this.

4. Question: When should I ask for a promotion?

   Answer: Maybe never. The average salary increase is four percent. Is that going to change your life in any meaningful way? On top of that, someone is promoting you up their ladder, but their ladder is not necessarily your best path. So stay focused on where you want to go instead of the paths other people have created for you.

   Getting a promotion is so last century. Instead of letting last century’s carrots dictate your workplace rewards, figure out what will be really meaningful to you: training, mentoring, flex time, whatever it is that means more than four percent more money. These are all things that can really improve your life and your career.

5. Question: Is being a generalist or a specialist the path to the executive suite?

   Answer: In Hollywood, the best way to get your pick of any role in the industry is to become a specialist—funny guy, tough girl, action hero—get known for being the best at something, and then use that star-power to branch out. The same is true in business.

   Jobs that don’t require a specialty are low level. To move up you need to be great at something, and you have to let people know what you don’t do. No one is great at everything. Even if your goal is not to get to the executive suite, you should specialize. When you want to take five months off to hike in Tibet, if you are easily replaced, you will be. If you have a skill that is hard to duplicate, your job will be there for you when you get back.

6. Question: What do I do about the gaps in my resume when I traveled or couldn’t find a job?

   Answer: Talk about them well. A gap is really bad if you spent your days on your sofa watching cartoons. But if you watched cartoons to prepare for your next career move into children’s programming, then you sound focused and driven. Same TV, same sofa, two different stories.

   People don’t want to hear your life story. This is good news for people with sofa stints. In almost all cases, you learn something during a gap. Tell a great story about what you’ve learned and where you’re going, and your gap won’t get center stage. Leaving out details is not about lying; it’s about telling good stories.

7. Question: Will getting an MBA or any other type of advanced degree be a good use of time and money since I can’t find a job?

   Answer: No. If you can’t find a job, then you should invest in something like better grooming, or a better resume, or a coach for poor social skills. These are the things that keep people from getting jobs. Instead of running back to school, figure out why you can’t get a job, because maybe it’s something that a degree can’t overcome.

   Grad school generally makes you less employable, not more employable. For example, people who get a graduate degree in the humanities would have had a better chance of surviving the Titanic than getting a tenured teaching job.

   Unless you are going to a top business school at the beginning of your career, you should not stop working in order to get the degree. Go to night school because you will not make up for the loss of income with the extra credential.

   Law school is one of the only graduate degrees that makes you more employable. Unfortunately it makes you more employable in the profession where people are more unhappy. Law school rewards perfectionism, and perfectionism is a risk factor for depression. Lawyers have little control over their work and hours, because they are at the beck-and-call of their clients, and many are constantly working with clients who have problems lawyers cannot solve. These two traits in a job—lack of control over workload and compromised ability to reach stated goals—are the two biggest causes for burnout in jobs.

   [May I interject here? I went to law school for two weeks and quit when I was young! Guy]

8. Question: What’s the ideal length of a resume in a world where every resume is electronic and not viewed printed out on paper?

   Answer: A page. Still. Your resume is a marketing document, not a summary of your life, so every line should be about an accomplishment. The more amazing your accomplishments, the fewer you need to list. For example, if you can write “Evangelized Macintosh and made it one of the most beloved brands in the world,” then you don’t need any other sales and marketing bullets on your resume.

   If you have totally lost perspective, and you think you have two page’s worth of incredible and relevant achievements, consider that hiring managers spend ten seconds evaluating a resume, and a scanner looks for ten keywords, which certainly fit on one page.

   So unless you have a great connection with the hiring manager, and you know he’ll look at both pages, don’t bother sending them. And if you do have that great connection then you are probably going to get an interview even if your resume sucks.

9. Question: How should I prepare for an interview?

   Answer: An interview is a test you can study for. So memorize answers to the fifty most common questions. Most interviewers ask standard variations on standard questions, and there are right answers to these questions.

   Whether you are a stripper or a CIA agent, the answer to the question, “What is your weakness?” is a story about how your weakness interfered at work—in a specific situation—and you overcame it. Most of your other answers should be stories, too. This means you need to make them up before you get to the interview. Stories of your life are memorable. Lists of your life are not. Be memorable if you want to be hired.

   Another way to prepare is to go to the gym right before the interview. It doesn’t matter if you never go to the gym—although you should, because people who workout regularly are more successful in their careers. You should go right before an interview because people judge you first on your appearance, and if do heavy lifting with your back and stomach muscles you will stand up much straighter in the interview. This will make you look more confident, which is half the battle in being judged by appearance.

10. Question: What’s the right strategy for the search for a first job out of college?

    Answer: Don’t place too much importance on your first job. You’ll have a lot more. Most people have eight jobs before they turn thirty, and that’s fine. It is nearly impossible to know what career will be a good fit for you until you start trying things. So give yourself the latitude to try a lot. And don’t get hung up on a big soul search. To land a great job, you don’t need to know the meaning of life, just the meaning of hard work.

11. Question: Do only losers live at home after college?

    Answer: On some level it would be insane not to move back home, which is why more than fifty percent of graduating seniors do it. Moving back to your parent’s house is a smart step toward finding a career that’s right for you.

    Entry level jobs typically cannot cover the cost of rent, college loan payments, and insurance premiums—all of which are rising faster than wages. If you don’t have to worry about paying rent, you have more flexibility to wait for the right job and to take a job that feels very right but pays very poorly. The rise of the prestigious but unpaid internship intersects perfectly with trend to move back home.

12. Question: What should I do if I work for a jerk?

    Answer: Leave. I know there are classic Bob Sutton examples of revered jerks like Steve Jobs, but I wonder about the people who put up with him. Can they not find another visionary to work for who is not such a jerk?

    Staying in a job like this makes you look bad. People wonder why you put up with it. And, frankly, you should too. It’s like being an abused wife. The wife who stays always defends the relationship by how much she gets out of it, but to everyone else it is obvious that she should leave. The problem is a loss of personal perspective.

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