10 Ways to Get Your Resume Tossed in the Trash
Posted on 22. Jun, 2009 posted by Bill in Employment News
As everybody knows, these are tough times. The unemployment rate in the United States has exceeded 10 per cent, and people who two years ago were sailing along now find themselves in desperate straits. Bills and the mortgage are coming due, and there seems to be no luck finding a job and returning to a substantial income.
Ten years ago I found myself in an identical situation. I’d lost my job of 12 years, and as a Chemist working in Engineering disciplines, I found I couldn’t compete with engineers with vast experience and professional registrations.
But, as fortune would have it, I ran into a guy who needed a partner to form an environmental compliance company. I joined him and found myself wearing several hats. One of them was reviewing resumes as they came in.
In that position, I saw some really awful resumes and I discovered 10 defects that will cause a resume to be discarded for one below it. Here’s what you need to get your resume tossed in the trash:
1) Print it on flamboyant, unprofessional paper. Make it pink, orange or green, or, just print it on ordinary printer paper so that it looks like something you dashed off in your spare time. That includes using weird and creative fonts.
2) Write a really boring, mundane cover letter which says, in essence, “Please see my resume”. Don’t try to quickly and succinctly demonstrate why you are the best individual for the job and why you are enthusiastic about it.
3) Don’t provide an objective statement, and if you do, don’t mention the job.’That way the reviewer won’t know what your objective is, or if it has anything to do with the open position.
4)Don’t talk about your accomplishments. Don’t specifically show what you did uniquely to benefit your present or former company and how the results benefited them. Just state as a matter of fact what your duties were and leave the rest to the reviewer’s imagination.
5) Show that you are not a team player or work well with other people. Talk solely about what you did, making sure it sounds boastful, and don’t mention anyone you worked with to accomplish your tasks.
6)Write at least 5 or more pages, endlessly reciting the excruciating technical details of each job you’ve had. HR people love to read resumes that look like the Great American Novel, and become more fascinated the longer it is. (Make it no more than 2 pages. They are unlikely to get past page 1).
7) If you have experience not directly related to the job you are applying for, don’t try to find a way to make it applicable. Just recite it.Experience is experience and what of it?
8)Don’t try to make employment gaps applicable to the position. Mention no effort you made during these periods to prepare yourself and keep up to date with your profession or prepare for the next position (Be sure to make the miserable statement somewhere: “Periods of Unemployment”).
9)When you list your education, if you have degrees or experience much higher than the job requirements, don’t try to show enthusiasm for a job much lower than the skill level you have. Don’t give them the idea that you are eager to take a lower position, or that you will be contented with a lower wage and ready to contribute to the company and work for it for an extended time.
10) Show no enthusiasm for the work you’ve done or the job you are applying for. In fact, the best way to get your resume tossed is to fail to even mention the position you are applying for.After all, your qualifications are so dazzling you don’t really need to, right? The company should hire you on the basis of those alone.
Remember, in this job climate, the Human Resources person has a stack of resumes on her desk that might look like a small version Mount Everest.When she climbs that mountain, she is looking for a combination of enthusiasm, professionalism, and qualifications.
Of all these, enthusiasm makes all the difference. An employer will hire an enthusiastic employee with fewer qualifications over one who is more qualified but doesn’t seem to be excited about it.
The resume she chooses is going to be one that stands out from the mob. If you have avoided the mistakes I’ve mentioned here, and your resume ;jumps off the stack and into her lap, you’ll be getting that telephone call.
Then you can demonstrate in person what you’ve conveyed in your resume that you are the best person for the job, and you are enthusiastic about hitting the ground running.
About the Author: Get tips and free resume examples at “How to Write a Resume”, http://www.resumewriting.how-to-zine.com
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